Faire la Bise

As it's often regarded as a confusing French tradition, you might be asking yourself, what is that French cheek kiss thing, and is it actually real? That French cheek kiss thing is real, and it's called "faire la bise" or "to do the kiss."

I wouldn't say I was worried about being confronted with faire la bise before I left for France, but I did consider what it would be like. I assumed I would do it with my host mom or other people I met right away. But for weeks, no faire la bise situation arose, and I mostly forgot about it, despite seeing French people do it between themselves from time to time.

Faire la bise goes back to the Romans, who had several different words for different kinds of kisses. "Basium" was their word for a kiss of greeting, which is where "bise" comes from. You don't actually kiss the other person's cheek; rather you brush your cheeks together or put them next to each other and make a kissing sound. The number of kisses depends on the region. Paris and most of the country do two, one on each cheek. Other regions, like in the south, can do up to four or five. Most regions start on the right, but some start on the left. Lyon does two, beginning on the right. Whether or not you faire la bise depends on the situation and the person. It's usually done between family, friends, and occasionally close colleagues. Women do it with each other, and men and women do it in informal situations, with the woman initiating. Men do it if they're close friends, but handshakes are also common.

The language institute at my university in France runs a program that pairs international students with French students so they can practice conversation. Yesterday, I met with my ICLF buddy for the first time. I had wondered beforehand if she would faire la bise with me or not. She did! It was pretty easy to see coming, and I knew enough about how it worked that it went fine. I didn't find it awkward at all; it actually might have been better than a more physical hug. Later that night, my host mom had a former French student that had stayed with her in the past come over for dinner. As she was leaving, she initiated faire la bise with me as well. It was ironic to go months without encountering the French tradition, only to then have it happen twice in one day.